Updated: Jul 8, 2019
You have all heard the saying it takes a village to raise a child. Well, in the fall of 2005 I learned it doesn't take a village to raise a child it takes a community of friends and family both near and far to help you though the dark days of life.
In mid-October my husband started throwing up and nothing he ate stayed down, this concerned us, so we called his doctor. She thought it could be a touch of the flu, but he had no other symptoms. One night soon after taking his seizure medication he threw up. This was concerning to us. The last thing we wanted was Kev to have a seizure, after calling his parents and dropping off out two-month-old son, we went to the emergency room.
After a while we finally got back to see a doctor and an examination and a few test and x-rays later, we found out that scar tissue had built up cause a bowel obstruction and surgery would have to be done. The admitted him into the hospital and I called his parents to give them the update.
Anyone who has ever worked or been in a hospital knows the rule of no one younger than 12 is allowed in the rooms. This caused a real problem for me. I had a 2-month-old that needed me! I also had a husband that needed me! How was I supposed to take care of both of these two when I couldn't have my son with me when I was with my husband?
I am very grateful to my in-laws who were there every step helping as much as they could, but I am even more thankful the community that God brought around me to surround me and help me take care of my family.
I had friends calling me asking what do you need how can I help. I would love to take KC for you. I remember a time where a dear friend took him and then I couldn't pick him up because I was at the hospital with Kev and his mom dealing with the doctor's. Kev's stepdad happily got in touch with her and met her so that I didn't have to worry about it.
There were also a few times when I couldn't find anyone to watch KC, I called My mother-in-law telling her what was going on and how upset I was (I was almost in tear over the phone). Her words will be forever in my heart she said, "you take care of your son and I will go up and take care of mine." So sweet and so loving, unfortunately that didn't stop the guilt eating away at me what kind of wife was I? So, I called my mom. I am in a quick oil change place with KC on the phone in tears with my mom (I think the guys taking care of my car thought I lost it). Her words echoed my mom-in-laws and she reminded me that God has this and I could only do what I had to for both and that Kev would understand. And he did.
This went on for a few days friends helping out I went to church one Sunday dropped KC off in the nursery and went to our Sunday school class room and the tag to pick KC up to my husband's best friend and his wife with instructions for the day filled the class in on how Kev was doing and off to the hospital I went.
Things were looking good; Kev was a little agitated about getting up and walking around but the aspect of being able to go to the women center to see his son helped him do what needed to be done. We were getting good reports from the doctors and it was looking hopeful that Kev would be coming home, and life would get back to normal. But that wasn't the case, one day while I was visiting a nurse came in to change Kev's IV. They had already changed it 3 times and gave made the comment he felt like Swiss cheese and why did they have to change it again. He got even more irritable when she had a hard time finding a vain and made the comment about putting in his forehead like they do for babies. He snapped at her and then started to have convolutions, he was having a seizure. I stepped back as she called for help and helplessly watch this happen.
This led to more days in the hospital more help from friends and family. Finally, on October 31st he was discharged. My memory of that day was sitting with Kev all day waiting for them to release him. Having to leave Kev at 4:30 to pick KC up from a good friend and then back to the hospital where we waited until he was wheeled out to us. Then a quick trip to the store and home. I put KC in his swing helped my husband to the coach and made grill cheese sandwiches while answering the door for trick or theaters, normalcy was back.
Anyone who knows me at all knows I don't ask for help; I am my mother's very independent child. I believe that I am capable and able to do it all. This was the first in many lessons that God was teaching me to ask those in my community for help and to lean on Him. That it was okay not to be able to do it all. My community was there to help take care of my son, to bring me meals, to give me hugs and comfort. They encouraged me and prayed with me and even sometimes made me laugh. My community was straight from my Heavenly Father and I am thankful for each one of them.
Lean on the community that God has given you, learn to trust that no matter what you are going though He's got you and will get you through with a little help from those in your community.